21 December 1989, Thursday.
Sagittarian/Capricornian.
Events Management Enthusiast.
Branch Secretary.
If you are hating, stop staring.™
Further Description of MYSELF :
She expresses herself through fashion, food, her lyrical writings, music and photography.
She organized her first gig, The Cynosure Theatre at the Singpore Art's House when she was barely 16 years old.
She enjoys meeting up with her dearest girlfriends and enjoy late night sessions of crapping, gossiping and smoking.
A self pro-claimed Facebook addict.
An avid blogger on most days when she doesn't suffer from bitch fits.
A person with flair and personality who doesn't resort to back hand tactics.
It makes her look all timid.
Like she emphasizes, if you are hating then stop staring.
Then, again.
Everyone is a critique.
And, I am extremely vulgar.
Did she mention that she has an obsession and addiction to a one-weird-eight-inch fetish ?
2 days till the 6th monthversary. Day 3 that we are almost messaging yet not talking.
Today, I dread going to work again.
What's the point, it don't matter anymore.
I am afraid that I'm responsible for my own loneliness.
He called me a sweet talker last night.
I have never been and I have never known how to be a sweet talker.
He thought I was perfect before.
Baby, I was never perfect in my life.
Nobody is.
But, beneath my imperfections lies a heart.
I have always been me.
I have always been real.
I have always been sincere in everything that I say or do.
I make mistakes.
Sometimes, I say things that are explicit or mean.
I realise that.
But, I learn from my mistakes.
I guess, you learn from yours too.
I just don't understand why you always compare me with your ex-es.
I never liked that comparison.
I am different.
I've tried to change for the better.
You know I did.
You knew who I was way back then before I even knew you.
Are you blind not to see ?
I have never ever doubted us.
I have always loved you whole heartedly.
I never expected you to give me anything.
I know you ride.
Unlike those petty girls, I have never demanded that you send me or fetch me to where ever I wanted to go.
I have always been thought and brought up to fend for myself.
Money was never the issue.
I loved you for you.
I just want you to give me the attention and love that I have long craved and yearned for.
Aq sayang kw, Latiif.
Asal kw nak kena ingat yang I'm here to mempermain and memperbodoh kan kw.
Aq tak pernah have such intentions.
Memang dulu aq jahat tapi sedaya upaya aq mencuba untuk berubah.
I spoke to Fino last night.
I couldn't hold it back anymore.
Bobby dearest saw me cry.
Bobby dearest felt how tight I hugged him.
I held tight the necklace that Latiif gave me for our monthversary give.
I will always remember how he caught me by surprise that faithful night.
Fino told me not to cry.
He comforted me.
Fino, I appreciate you being there for me.
Fino told me to move on and forget about Latiif.
It's hard to forget someone that you'll always remember.
There is just something about us.
I wake up and stare out my window.
I look at my phone hoping for a single text message from him.
All I get is nothing.
Then, the parking lot brings me back to those times when he'll wait for me on his motorbike before we go for our endless joyrides.
I walk past my void deck and it'll remind me of the hours we spent lost in each other's arms.
We'd take turns lying on each other's lap and fondling each other's hair.
We'd talk about random stuffs and I remember once upon a time when he played with my lips for at least half and hour.
I walk up the bridge on my way to work and looked across the canal.
I'd remember the bench where I'd lie on his lap and we'd enjoy the nights together.
How I wish someone could explain to me what I am feeling deep down inside.
I wish I could just hug him tight.
I promise I'd hold back my tears and not cry.
I just want to see him.
I missed kissing him.
I missed every moment that I spent with him.
For the past two days I woke up, I feel like going back to sleep again.
I don't wish to face the world.
I dread this life.
It's as though I've lost my sense of motivation.
My will to get up and go to work.
He'll be the first and last person I talk to everyday for almost 6 months.
In the past, he'll be there to make me laugh when I don't even want to smile.
I wish I could turn back time just once.
I dislike being left hanging with nothing but a thin thread that would snap at any moment.
I tried hard.
I really did.
If I wasn't happy about us, would I try so hard to salvage this relationship ?
But ...
If this relationship doesn't work out, I am never falling in love again.
The Loneliness - Babyface. [Verse 1]
I'm sitting here, Thinking bout How I'm gon-na do without You around in my life and how am I I gon' get by
I ain't got no days Just lonely nights You want the truth Well girl im not alright Feel out of place and out of time I think I'm gonna lose my mind
[Chorus]
So tell me how you feel (I'm lonely) Are you for real (So lonely) Do you still think of me (I think of you) Baby still (Are you lonely) Do you dream of me at night (Like i dream of you all the time) So let me tell you how it feels (It's like everyday i die) Wish I was dreaming but its real (when I open up my eyes) Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face) I think that I will never love again ...
[Verse 2]
I miss your face I miss your kiss I even miss the arguments That we would have from time to time I miss you standing by my side
I'm dying here, it's clear to see There ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me Don't wanna live, I wanna die If I can't have you in my life
[Chorus (repeat till end)]
So tell me how you feel (I'm lonely) Are you for real (So lonely) Do you still think of me (I think of you) Baby still (Are you lonely) Do you dream of me at night (Like i dream of you all the time) So let me tell you how it feels (It's like everyday i die) Wish I was dreaming but its real (When I open up my eyes) Let me tell you how it feels (And don't see your pretty face) I think that I will never love again ...
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