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If you are hating, stop staring.™ Her Babat Face ♥ --- generationgirl2030@hotmail.com  ♥ Sexy ♥ Smart ♥ Sophisticated ♥  21 December 1989, Thursday. Sagittarian/Capricornian. Events Management Enthusiast. Branch Secretary.
Further Description of MYSELF : She expresses herself through fashion, food, her lyrical writings, music and photography. She organized her first gig, The Cynosure Theatre at the Singpore Art's House when she was barely 16 years old. She enjoys meeting up with her dearest girlfriends and enjoy late night sessions of crapping, gossiping and smoking. A self pro-claimed Facebook addict. An avid blogger on most days when she doesn't suffer from bitch fits. A person with flair and personality who doesn't resort to back hand tactics. It makes her look all timid. Like she emphasizes, if you are hating then stop staring. Then, again. Everyone is a critique. And, I am extremely vulgar. Did she mention that she has an obsession and addiction to a one-weird-eight-inch fetish ? Tweet ♥ 
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Sunday, August 31, 2008 Side lines.I am envious to the fact that everyone around me can have it perfect. Saturday, August 30, 2008 I cried myself to sleep.I long for someone to love me without being told, Why does everything have to be so cold ? Friday, August 29, 2008 The awful truthGoodbye for now. Today, I lose a friend. How foolish I am. How stupid I could ever be. How selfish I was. All along, it has been my fault. I am sorry. Like I previously said, guilt will be eating up my insides. Yet, I have never regretted it.
Thursday, August 28, 2008 Headbangs and scandals.If you could see him now. Kiddo, as expected it is over soon. I will not regret anything yet I feel disappointed in myself. I know I did not do the right thing. But, for a moment I felt relieved. I felt that sense of euphoria tingling through me. I felt glad that I was not dreaming, staring at the four empty walls and thinking. I could Yet, I am broken. Kiddo, in my sleep I finally realise, he is and has always been the indeed intended one. Guilt is eating up my insides slowly. Kiddo, why do I have to feel this way ? I hate being in a tight spot. Kiddo. Kiddo. Kiddo. It will not be long that I admit myself to a mental institution. I guess this is goodbye, Kiddo. Tags replied : Miza : Yes, I hate National Service. They ruin my life. :( Nina : Ntah lahh, babe. Takkan nak tinggal kan gitu macam. Sayang laki oi. Hahahaha. Sabar je lahh. Nak buat macamana kan ? TaP kadang aku rasa si dia tuu dahh lain. Haish. :/ Wednesday, August 27, 2008 I hate you but I love you, I can't stop thinking of you. Fuck National Service. It is the cause to all my fucking relationship problems with the intended one. Why is there a need for National Service anyway ? I guess I have to be patient and not give up. But, the thing is I do not know for how long more can I hold on. I can't predict the future. Nor can I predict myself. Nevertheless, I have never loved someone so much. I'm stuck on that Kiddo. Another cold, rainy, sad and wet day. Microsoft Outlook is still being a bitch. Fuck you ! I can't believe that I loathe the creation of information technology. Yet, at the same time without it's creations we will be stuck in the cavemen era. We sure do not want to be running around without clothes or shoes riding on dinosaurs like The Flinestones. That'll be so weird. Yet, what's life without it's bads and goods. Anyways, I will not take back my words when I say that someone in the office is being a bitch. It's disgusting. What are you trying to flaunt, woman ? Get a life.Tuesday, August 26, 2008 Thanks for being there for me, Kiddo. Things are not as bad as I dreamt them to be. I wish it would be better. I do not hope for it to get worst. I am still pissed of the fact that Microsoft Outlook is being a bitch. Darn it. How the fucking hell am I suppose to do my fucking work, you fucking squeeze. The IT dudes are being assholes because I called them like 20 times and they never pick up the fucking phone. Not to mention that after several attempts of calling them, all I got was a reference number and they claim that they will call me back. Screw you, jerks. Spending a few nights out alone without the intended one made me felt better. I apologize for saying that but I will not take back whatever I have just said. Maybe some time well spent alone is a good vacation. Not that I wanted to be apart from the intended one but I guess whatever that happened in between was too hectic. Maybe the time alone did it right for us. Ohh, well. Have a good evening, love. Monday, August 25, 2008 I can't keep my hands off the cookie jar.What a day to start work. I do not feel like working and I am having a lot of issues with everything around me including myself. It is not that I am giving excuses but Microsoft Outlook is being a bitch today. I do not understand why I am unable to receive or send emails from my side. It is so fucked up and stressful especially, when I have a major task that I was assigned to by my boss. I enjoy doing and handling assignments. I am not being brag here but that is my forte. (: Anyways, I am still having stomach issues. I think I have a bad case of food poisoning and it sucks big time. I have a lot of issues with myself. At times, I would stare blankly into space and fade into oblivion. I do not even realise that I am doing it repeatedly. I cannot help it. When I get into these long trances, I just think but when I snap out of it I do not even recall a single thing that I was thinking about. It feels weird and scary. Sometimes having too many thoughts in your brain does not do you any good. It is just that sometimes people think I am Synnta, the girl with the easy going bubbly attitude. Yet, beneath the four walls of my room I am someone else. Human nature is the most puzzling and contradicting thing, ever. I do not know if tonight will go alright for me. Unlike the past few nights, I feel better today. I do not wish to keep thinking about vicious thoughts in my dreams. I have had enough of sleepless nights. Tags replied : Nina : Wahh. Shoik lahh kw. Orang kerja keras, kw holiday. Mana fair. Okae, go. NanT, aq gaji kita enjoy. Woot. (: Izah : Yeah, babe. Stress aq. Kena marah depan orang ramai. Malu oii. :D Fion : When I get my pay then we go shopping, okae ? I am kind of tight now. Hari raya is coming which means Geylang bazaar. Yeah. Hehehe. (: Have a good evening, loves. Sunday, August 24, 2008 Cold, rainy, wet day.Everyday is a day when life fucks us all and the dark sky cries. I miss you. ): Saturday, August 23, 2008 Louder, louder. The voices in my head Whispers taunting All the things you said Faster the days go by and I'm still Stuck in this moment of wanting you here Time In the blink of an eye You held my hand, you held me tight Now you're gone And I'm still crying Shocked, broken I'm dying inside Where are you ? I need you Don't leave me here on my own Speak to me Be near me I can't survive unless I know you're with me Shadows linger Only to my eye I see you, I feel you Don't leave my side It's not fair Just when I found my world They took you, they broke you, they tore out your heart I miss you, you hurt me You left with a smile Mistaken, your sadness Was hiding inside Now all that's left Are the pieces to find The mystery you kept The soul behind a guise Where are you ? I need you Don't leave me here on my own Speak to me Be near me I can't survive unless I know you're with me Why did you go ? All these questions run through my mind I wish I couldn't feel at all Let me be numb I'm starting to fall Where are you ? I need you Don't leave me here on my own Speak to me Be near me I can't survive unless I know you're with me Where are you ? Where are you ? You were smiling Loving someone is enjoying every waking moment with that person. Even if that time spent is for a short while, it don't matter that special someone is all that matters. Am I that of a boring person ? Do you love me ? Teman tapi mesra.In someone elses arms she shed her tears, As the melodies chimed he senses her fears; No amount of comforting words will make her stop, The sky cried too as he felt the rain drops. The stars will not shine bright, A sad tune shall play tonight; It was a beautiful night they journeyed together, Yet she kept thinking about the moments he spent with her. The serenity that surrounds drowned her soul, She longed for her love to hold; Her bleeding heart he held on his palm, She longed for him to hold her in his arms. The moon was not full hidden amongst the clouds, Can anyone hear her speak her despondent thoughts ? She didn't mean to shatter in front of his eyes, He heard her sorrow through her silent cries. She can no longer hold on, She is no longer strong; Without him she feels all alone, Yet not breaking free, shes not letting it go. The flame that burns left no more spark, She carved his name deep down in her heart; The hidden wound that savaged hurts for awhile, But she'll lead the world with her broken smile. Friday, August 22, 2008
Today, I paint my world in black. Angela did make me feel better for awhile when she bought me a cup of Milo and placed it on the office table. Thank you. I could not sleep last night despite several attempts of tossing and turning on my bed. I was angry yet forlorn at the same time. Without realising, I threw my dear Bob on the floor. Why ? Why ? Why ? The questions would nag. Have we really lost it now ? For now, I am really scared. I promised myself, big girls dont cry. But I can no longer hold it back. It has been far too long and I am no longer strong. Yet, I love you with all my heart today, tomorrow and yesterday. I will not regret loving you. Lunch was horrible. The food was too oily. Not to mention that I had no appetite to eat. I'm really afraid of a nervous breakdown. It happened one too many times before. At times, I'd think to myself. What if one day I really drive myself crazy. I was thinking when I had a puff just right after lunch. It felt good being by myself. During those times, I use to have tons of people lining up to message. At times, I will entertain them. When I felt bored with them I could just simply ignore them. Right now, I only wait for that one person to text message me. Yesterday, he said I was like his mum. Honestly, was I being too controling ? Maybe, I did not realise my actions. But I was simply acting as how you said it in words to me. Even so, you should have never raised your voice at me. It is a little unfair to me. Last night, you left across the highway without telling me. You did not even feel guilty for your actions. What if something happen to you and I did not even know. Well, what that has happened already happen. My weakness is that I care too much. Thursday, August 21, 2008 One thing is for sure, I should not have ate the Chilli Crab Opeh I packed for my family's dinner. I'm having stomach issues myself. Anyways, last night was not so bad even if the moments spent was for awhile. Have you lost the trust in me, darling ? I cannot deny the fact that I have a lot of acquaintances but bear in mind. I will never hurt someone cause I know how it is like to feel hurt and betrayed. How it feels like when everyone around you is mocking you. How it feels like when everyone around you is making use of you. You get me ? If I am the person I was years ago I will not hesitate to do it. I will not even not feel the guilt as it seeps through my soul. Right now I am contented with what I have and I do not wish for it to end abruptly. I have to be honest here. Sometimes, I feel insecure. I do not know why. Is it because after 1 year and 6 months of being single and finally, I have a commitment to be faithful to is making feel this way. The last relationship before him made me come to a conclusion that it was the year of yes. Instead of being happy, I ended up being hurt by going out with anyone who asks me out. I got the biggest wake up call of my life when it happened. Why was I so foolish not to realise when the signs were there. I will never forgive myself for being so stupid. I am glad that I found him. It was unexpected and unplanned but I am glad he looks after me well. I am elated that you understand my situation yet sometimes I would think so much that you would leave me without telling me why. Maybe, it is time that we speak truthfully regarding what is on each others mind. Yet, I cannot help it if my dreams came and interupt my beautiful slumber. They just do. I would lay awake on my bed with tears in my eyes. I would lie to myself that everything would be alright when I know they will never be. I realise how foolish I am to keep my thoughts bottled up in my head. At times, it is better to left certain things unsaid because even if you speak those thoughts not everyone or anyone will understand. On a lighter note, I am glad the family is okae with him. I do not know what will happen in the near future yet I hope everything will turn out all right. For now, it is goodbye. P.s I am NOT looking forward to another stupid Saturday.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
This song reminded me of an intended someone. Someone I have not spoken to for quite awhile. Someone who recognises my existance yet chooses to ignore it. Someone whom I have forgotten to love. Someone whom I have learnt to hate. Someone whom I wished would be aware of my presence. Someone who was there but was never here. Someone who lives near me but seemed so far away. Someone who use to hold me tight but can bear to let me go now. Someone whom I can never understand. Someone whom I always missed but take for granted. Someone who never fail to cuddle me in the past but shuns me in my present. Someone whom I have always looked up to yet now he disappoints me. Someone whom I hated cause I realise I love him too much. Someone whom no one can ever replace. That someone gave me my life.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008 1.) If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't, nothing can make him stay. 2.) Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you some day. 3.) Have your own set of friends that he does not know. Take time off to relax and unwind with your friends. 4.) Make your man miss you sometimes. When he knows you are always there for him, he will take you for granted. Have a good evening, all. Monday, August 18, 2008 Eyy. Sial lahh. Kau fikir aku baruah pe. Sial. Kalau tuu bukan first time aku buat benda tuu, tak akan lahh aku buat mistake. Kau kena faham. Aku dekat tempat niie belum 3 bulan pun. Aku ada banyak benda nak belajar. Kau tak payah nak marah aku gitu macam lorr. Aku niie bukan bodoh. It takes time for me to learn. Kau pun kena faham lorr. Kalau kau fikir aku nie genius, for your information, I am not. Okae ? Even so, geniuses takes time to fine tune themselves. Pukimak sial. Cakap dengan aku gitu macam. Dahh bagus aku nya orang penyabar. Maklum lahh. Aku kan orang baru, jadi aku tak akan show aku nya true colours. Macam chee bye. Totally spoil mood aku. Dari tadi aku tahan aku nya kencing sebab layan kan kau nya perangai sial. Kau boleh berambus. Suspect kuat, semalam kau tak dapat dari bini kau. Dahh lahh itu hari kau buat aku datang kerja macam budak bodoh. Aku tau lahh kau ketua dekat sini, tapi, frankly, orang bodoh yang work on Saturday. Dahh lahh aku datang office tak ada orang. Mak kau nya puki lahh. Okae, aku dahh malas nak layan kesial-an kau. Aku nak smoke dulu. Bye. What a fucking, fucked up day. When love goes wrong, nothing goes right. Saturday, August 16, 2008 It was a beautiful 4th month anniversary. Thank you for making it memorable. Earlier today, I thought everything that we planned will be ruined. Thank god everything turned out fine. I would like to also welcome baby Fireblade into our lives. Obviously, he was happy. He has a new toy to play with. As long as he is happy, I am too. I hope there is no more neglect. We were drenched as we rode across the causeway but a little rain will not dampen our spirits. It was a full moon as we rode along the highway. Being cuddled in each others arms was all that matter. A chemistry only two lovers understand. We were lost in a place, somewhere only we knew. Only for a while did we realise, the beautiful night came to an end too soon. If only it was according to as we plan, we would have watched the sunrise together as we embraced the love. As mortals, we plan our future but the Almighty decides. I do not wish to ruin this moment, ever. Good night, take care. Love. Labels: Our anniversary. Friday, August 15, 2008 It feels a little too late now. I do not know why. I am making an effort. Indeed I am. Can you not feel it ? Do you have to somehow treat me this way ? It does not feel right yet it is not wrong. I am having issues with myself. It is always the case. I do not know what is wrong with me. Life itself is a paradox. Sometimes, the good things itself are bad and the things that are intentionally bad turns out to be good. It feels so near yet it seems so far away. It slips away and all the hopes and dreams began to shatter into tiny little pieces. Will someone be able to fix it ? The doubts began to question her head. She promised herself she will stop caring but in life it is easier said than done. Deras hujan yang turun, Mengingatkanku pada dirimu; Aku masih disini untuk setia. Selang waktu berganti Aku tak tahu engkau dimana; Tapi aku mencoba untuk setia. Sesaat malam datang menjemput kesendirian ku, Dan bila pagi datang ku tahu kau tak disampingku; Aku masih di sini untuk setia. Thursday, August 14, 2008 Your fucking problem, okae ? I fucking don't care, seriously. Do what ever you want for all I care. What's the point of thinking so much and working very hard when obviously you are not paying attention. Why should I care so much while you don’t ? I guess it takes time for you to realise but better hurry up before I really give up. I'm not going to spell it out for you. I have made up my mind. Neither will I hesitate. You do you while I do me. Let them haters think that I am blind, stupid and vulnerable. Fuck you, all of you. Wednesday, August 13, 2008 Right now, I'm feeling very bored. I have completed all my tasks so definitely I'm bumming my ass at work. Yesterday felt terrible for me. I do not know why. Honestly, I'm still looming about it. I do not feel good about myself and I do not know how I could get over it. I made an honest mistake last night and I should not have done it but I was angry and it made me feel so much better. But as I stare blankly and think about it, I feel a slight pinch of remorse and guilt. Am I becoming me of the past once more ? I do not wish to speak of those horrid times. Those occurrences were long forgotten, yet they are coming back to me slowly. I couldn’t sleep last night and it made me feel slightly. I kept thinking as those vivid thoughts kept replaying on my mind. I do not wish to lose. I do not wish to be left alone. I'm clinging on a breakable thread. I'm vulnerable and there is no solution for this. My heart pounds vigorously. I broke a cold sweat. Suddenly, darkness greets me. I feel lost in the abyss. I hear laughter and suddenly silence. I hear faint screams in the background and then, it snapped. I fall. It felt bottomless. Will I live to see the end or will I die ? Then, I woke up. Thank you for leaving that song as your voicemail message, Mike. It really made my day. Tomorrow's Another Day ; Collie Buddz. Girl I know you've got some issues, Yeah i, And I'd never try to dis you, Nuh, nuh, now, Cause No-one knows the life you've been through, Oh lord, So I'm just here to wish you the very best inna life, but... The way you moving nah go get you nowhere, but, Tomorrows another day, Tomorrows another day, Where you going nah go take you nowhere, So I just want you to be prepared, Cause judgment a come, No tell me it's a money thing, "whe yuh talk bout?", pretty woman like you could a get anything, How you supposed to search for your king, When you're addicted, fi see da money fling, girl child, Angel me waan yu spread yuh wings You nah listen Lauren Hill when she a talk bout say dis thing You nah frightened fi see what this carry go bring come my dear, mi nah want ya feel da sting, cause, The way you moving nah go get you nowhere, but, Tomorrows another day, Tomorrows another day, Where you going nah go take you nowhere, So I just want you to be prepared, Cause judgment a come, I guess its just the life you chose, Your Legs open, dem never closed, Something like them other... **** 'Pon the path of life, so many roads, That's why its hurts me hard fi see you pon di corner a pose, Dem a throw you dollar bills fi take off your clothes, You wonder why no-one there to send you rose, I guess its just how it goes, Livin your life like ya lost girl, I suppose, so, The way you moving nah go get you nowhere, but, Tomorrows another day, Tomorrows another day, Where you going nah go take you nowhere, So I just want you to be prepared, Cause judgment a come, [repeat] Tuesday, August 12, 2008 Fuck me. Fuck you. Fuck my friends. Fuck everyone. Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck. What is the point of saying you will be there for me when you are not ? True friends don't only stick by you when you are happy. Today is too much for one girl to handle. I am not a freaking doll you can fucking toy with ! If I walk away would you run and stop me from leaving ? I never expected anything from you. I don't want your money. I don't need your money. I know you are busy and don't have time. I’m working too and I'm trying very hard to understand your schedule. I’m just saying it's not fair. I just want your care and concern. All that this girl asked for was for him to love her. Whole heartedly. Is that too much someone can ask for ? Why did you have to say those words. You say you didn't mean those words you speak of. How would you feel if I say them to you instead ? Would you cry like I did ? I never felt hurt and shattered so badly in my life. Is it worth my tears ? Somehow, I feel it all slip away as it fades into the night. I don't want to let go and I won’t give up. I'm naive, foolish and selfish. Blame me for loving someone too much. Why do I worry so much when I claim to be happy ? Am I afraid of being alone ? Do I fear the truth ? I guess this is karma. I feel it now. I accept my punishments for all that I've done in my past. But, am I to blame ? It's people like them who made me feel this way. They are the people who never could appreciate my existence. It's okae. I'm used to it. I don't feel the respect from anyone. Should I treat others the same way ? What’s the point then. All everyone does is laugh at me. Aim me for my weaknesses. I have never done anything right in my life, never. Why do you see me through my imperfections ? Well, if everyone is wondering, inside this imperfection lies a heart. A shattered, beating heart. I can't explain myself for being one person today and someone else tomorrow. It's something that I can’t and never will answer. I am someone who will speak out when I do not agree but would anyone listen to me. I am and will always be invisible. My confidence has been destroyed by the occurrences in my life. I will never be that easy going Synnta. I will never be that someone who could smile with my eyes. The time that I move on and move out is arriving any minute now. I hope to start afresh and I don't need any of you in my life. Monday, August 11, 2008 Happy 50th Birthday, Papa. I love my new pair of Birkens, baby. (: Sunday, August 10, 2008 It was an unexpected meet up with Ira. But it was fun. We ended up shopping for ear rings at Far East Plaza. Proceeded to grab a cup of bubble tea before heading to Macdonald’s at the Shaw House for French fries. *Mariska Hargitay* We watched Love Guru. I recommend you to do so. It was hilarious that I laughed super loudly and the whole theatre was booming with my voice. The show is full of cocks and dicks. What do you expect of a show with sexual themes. Mike Myers stars as Guru Pitka who wears a chastity belt. He can only remove the belt when he learns to love himself. Justin Timberlake stars as Jacque Le Cock Grande. In simple terms, he is a hockey goalie with a majorly oversized dick. Not to mention he is obsessed with Celine Dion. I rate 4 stars for this movie. Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck. I know you hate me. Honestly, you are no competition for me. I don’t even see you as a threat. Frankly, you are a waste of my effin time. It’s 2008, minah. Seriously, get a fucking life you fucking squeeze. Apa pasal kau nak kena stare aku semacam that day ? Kau tak puas, kau cakap. Tak payah nak stare aku semacam. Kau tak payah nak kerek dengan aku. Kau tuu masih budak lagi. By the way, I know you still have feelings for him. You think I’m stupid ? Too bad lahh. Kau dah terlepas itu chance. So, you don’t have to give me that I owe you look. I don’t owe you anything. Not in my past, my current present or the near future. Honestly, I pity you or maybe I was being sarcastic ? Hanging out with those loser friends of yours, make me pity you even more. I don’t know if you realise this or not. Those jerks only want to fuck you. Did you get that ? Let me repeat that. Those jerks only want to fuck you. You think hanging out at those coffee shops are cool. Seriously. Get a life, woman. Scumbags with no future. Be it rain or shine. Whether they are working the next day or not, they will always be accommodating the same spot. Drinking the same lame drink all day and night. Talking about the same pathetic things over and over again. Doesn’t it bug you ? For god’s sake. Some of them are even old enough to be your dad. Imagine this. You are hanging out with your boy friend’s friends and your dad sits at the next table because your dad is also in the same group. Don’t you feel awkward and embarrassed at the same time ? Here is a little reminder, those people are dangerous. They deceive, lie and they can kill. I was hurt due to the naivety but I know you wouldn’t care. Seeing that you are in it because of the fame and inappropriate attention. Listen here, bitch. I’m not like you and I will never be like you. You are low. Actually, lower. Whatever, moron. Good night. Saturday, August 9, 2008 Happy 43rd Birthday, Singapore. Friday, August 8, 2008 Say bye, bye to my wisdom tooth. :D Lol. Okae, the anxiety is acting up. Good morning by the way. Thursday, August 7, 2008 Pretty Shitty Portable. I think it already did possess his heart. Normally, I would be happy when someone else is happy. But today, I felt slightly irritated. Not to mention that my mouth hurts and I’m nervous regarding tomorrow's trip to the dentist. First things first, I would like to thank Eka for a brilliant idea that she has unintendedly contributed. In the first place, you'd rather that I speak out. Then, the next moment, you are saying that I'm trying to stir things up out of the blue. What am I suppose to do. Jump off a building ? You told me I could do that. You'd rather I jump off a building ? Maybe I should. Doesn't that tick you off ? It's not fair. Was I being overly sensitive and dramatically petty ? Or was I just being envious. Maybe I was. Boys will be boys. Pardon me for being honest. But, that is just me. Let's see here, mister. Maybe it's true when Visa or Master Card came up with the slogan, “The men don't get it.” Sadly, it is true. They just don't get what we women are trying to say. They just don't listen or pay attention. “Baby, am I doing too much ?” Sometimes, I wonder. Well, it can't be helped that we love them so much. We just want the best for us. Maybe, just maybe when they found someone or something new, we are just dispensable. The irony of it all, love. I don't think that is quite a sin to love someone whole heartedly. Well, whatever. I'll quit beating about the bush and get straight to the point.
I fucking hate Sony's PSP a lot that I want to break this fucking son of a gun into pieces. I wished they were banned, forever and ever. Yes, I am mean because he has a new PSP. I fucking do not care. Please choose the following options stated below : (1.) Me or (2.) PSP Good day. Wednesday, August 6, 2008 I'm leaving messages and voicemails Telling you I miss you Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Why you tryna diss me When I just wanna kiss you Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Tell me what's the issue Who I give these lips to Baby, am I doing too much (too much) This is turning into Something I ain't hip to Baby, am I doing too much (too much) See you got me all alone Waiting right here by the phone For you to call me just to hear your voice tone I keep on wondering if you was even feeling me I keep on wondering if this was even meant to be Tell me I'ma waste ya time Boy, you showing me no sign Is it 'cause you on ya grind 'Cause you're always on my mind I keep wondering if everything you said was true I keep wondering if you were really coming through Now here I go again blowing you up And my girlfriends keep telling me I'm doing too much Now here I go again blowing you up And my girlfriends keep telling me I'm doing too much I'm leaving messages and voicemails Telling you I miss you Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Why you tryna diss me When I just wanna kiss you Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Tell me what's the issue Who I give these lips to Baby, am I doing too much (too much) This is turning into Something I ain't hip to Baby, am I doing too much (too much) I'm out with my girls tryna have a good time And you know I'm looking fly tryna meet some other guys But it gets hard sometimes 'cause there ain't no one just like you I try my best, but I can't shake this thing you got me going through All I can picture is the color of your eyes, and the way you make me smile I ain't felt this in a while But I came to a conclusion that this is pure illusion Chaos and confusion, but I'm not gonna let it ruin The way I feel about myself 'cause I have self-esteem Sometimes I wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy The way I feel about myself 'cause I have self-esteem Sometimes I wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy I'm leaving messages and voicemails Telling you I miss you Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Why you tryna diss me When I just wanna kiss you Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Tell me what's the issue Who I give these lips to Baby, am I doing too much (too much) This is turning into Something I ain't hip to Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Just leave ya name and number And I'ma holla at cha Just leave ya name and number And I'ma holla at cha Just leave ya name and number And I'ma holla at cha Just leave ya name and number And I'ma holla at cha Ronnie Rey, all day Women in the hall way Ev'day losing track of the people tryna call me Don't take this the wrong way, I been having long days Doing it, moving round the town wherever I'm getting my song played Now here I go again blowing you up And my girlfriends keep telling me I'm doing too much Now here I go again blowing you up And my girlfriends keep telling me I'm doing too much I'm leaving messages and voicemails Telling you I miss you Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Why you tryna diss me When I just wanna kiss you Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Tell me what's the issue Who I give these lips to Baby, am I doing too much (too much) This is turning into Something I ain't hip to Baby, am I doing too much (too much) Doing too much Tuesday, August 5, 2008 Don't ask me why I feel like this. It sucks. But then again. Fuck you. All of you. I feel pissed off but I do not know why. I do not excuse myself for being temperamental. Either you ignore me or take it with a fake smile on your face. I'm hungry but I can't eat. I want to work but my body says no. So be it. Bye. Monday, August 4, 2008 I felt happy for him. When he's happy, I'm happy. He got himself a new PSP in piano black. Well, boys will be boys. I guess he'll be going home to make love with his new baby. On a happier note, bikey will grow bigger as well. If that's even a way to put it. :D On a lighter note, I'm not going ahead with the tooth extraction and surgery. Let me die in pain, okae ? Maybe, I'm being childish when I'm typing all this. Pasal masalah kecil kau nak memperbesarkan. Apa lagi yang kau tak faham ? Aku malas lahh nak bebual lagi. At least all of you will be happier. Korang suka tengok aku susah kan ? Korang tak akan faham aku nya situation sekarang. Kau cuma tau nak marah aku. Dari dulu, kau tau nak spot kesalahan aku. Kelemahan aku. Semua yang aku buat, salah. Pada pandangan kau, aku lahh yang buruk. Aku tak sempurna. Aku yang selalu buat salah. Aku kan masih budak lagi. Kalau kau treat aku macam budak, aku pun boleh act like a small kid. Dahh lahh. Aku dahh malas. Aku tengah tunggu time aku je. Kalau memang dah tiba masanya. Kau tak akan dapat tengok muka aku lagi. Don't let that day come. Bye. Saturday, August 2, 2008 Decided to curi tulang and update my blog. Am I not suppose to ? Uhh. F.Y.I, I kind of don't care. Pardon the attitude but I'm alone in my office. How do you expect me to feel ? I feel like shit. When I could be resting and nursing my sore mouth, I have to go to work. Unfortunately. Then, my imagination started growing wild. I'm not going to elaborate here. Period. I don't know why I felt this way eventhough my clock reads almost 1oAM in the morning. Lol. I agree is paranoia on my part. But how am I not suppose to feel this way. No one in this office works on a Saturday. Except me. Bummer. Not to mention that I have to work till 1.ooPM. I'm still babbling like an idiot, nevertheless. He laughed at me last night. What am I suppose to do ? How can someone talk without being able to close their mouth fully ? Lol. I'm still feeling like an old person. Not that I want to. I have a huge ulcer growing in my mouth. :( Fuck god damn it !!! I want to eat spicy food. :( I'm missing in the good things in life. Okae, I'm no longer in the mood to blog now. Will update again later. Friday, August 1, 2008 I can't concentrate at work. So, decided to blog before I leave for the day. The teeth is aching and it's becoming unbearable now. I beared with it for the past one week. Now, it's really getting into me. Did I mention I felt giddy. Anyways, I attended my branch meeting earlier this morning. It wasn't so bad. Informative, nevertheless. Looking forward for the days to come. :D I didn't realise that it's been a month that I was here. Not to brag or anything. At least, I know the backgrounds of this whole branch. I have to attend work tomorrow even though my boss is not coming. :( I wish it would get better tomorrow eventhough I know it wouldn't. I don't want to keep eating porridge. I feel like an old person. These hormones are really getting into me. Does growing up have to feel so pain ? First, you start having mensturation. Then, you grow hairs in places you never knew. Next you start getting curious and hornier. Lol. Now, this. Next, getting hitched and being pregnant for nine months. Then, you start getting old people's problems. FUCK. Anyways, I took leave on a Monday. Dad agreed to pay the wisdom tooth extraction fees using his MediSave. At least it wouldn't burn a hole in my pocket. I still have overdue debts I have not settled. An Indian man wearing neon green pants really made my day eventhough it was for awhile. I really envy people who are born with a silver spoon. Unlike me, middle income. I'm not ungrateful. At least I'm not poor. Some people just get to do whatever they want. Education, jet set holidays, lavish homes, shopping. I can't even afford to feed myself for a month. Or is it because I spend to much ? I don't think so. Anyways, that's all for today. So much for my thoughts of the day. I smell my boyfriend somewhere in the office. Plan of the day : Get engrossed in Second Life. :D P.s Now, I really wished I could remove my jaw and mouth temporarily. | |
